20 80 Rule Why did I get married

Frustrations, frustrations, frustrations from all angles. Feeling frustrated with your spouse.

Pareto's principle 80 20 rule, except that trying to apply it to our lives, living it out with our spouse. I can imagine your frustration. I have mine too, who hasn't got any. Is there one around that hasn't any? Come on and be honest.

Do Not look back and ask why, Look Forward and ask Why Not - seems a pretty good quote to live by. But can we?

Interesting quote from a move "Why did I get married?".
In most cases, especially n relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person (man or woman) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT. And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.

But the problem is that you will always to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT.

But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.

Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. "Wow, this girl in my office is a real looker. But it is not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I'm crazy about her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not. Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring, more thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did.

Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only have 80% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 20%. Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: I broke my arm yesterday, hahahahaha..

Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels and a red pencil-cut skirt Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.

But wait, that's only 20% of what you don't have. Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!

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That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you have accumulated as lovers.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.

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But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have. But I am not just talking about marriage. I am talking about life! about your jobs, about your friends, about your children, about your lifestyles.

Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? They have go more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they have got personal videos!

I guarantee you will be miserable for the entire trip! Don't live your life like that. Forget about what the world says is first class. Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class - because they are not riding in a private Lear Jet?

The main message? If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are, you are first class!
Conclusion : You will never get 100% perfect in Life of your needs and wants!

So if you are feeling real frustrated, rethink and reflect again, look around you and be thankful for whatever you have. Appreciate those things around you, the people and the relationship around you.

Like what we learn from small, a bird in hand is better than 2 in the bushes.

Posted by
Ivan