What is wrong with this World and this Humanity? Desptie the great achievement and advancement of mankind, humanity has taken many steps backward. Let's pause and take a look at this Gaza War, and the many lives that have been lost in it.
The 2 sides wanted war, many has joined in the fray for whatever motives they know best. But the World at large, wants peace and this is threatening world peace.
The Gaza War has now entered into its 22nd day. So far, asthe SUN newspaper headlines goes today, " Hamas to silence guns for a week after Israel declares Truce." It is reported that the Hamas militant announced a 1 week ceasefire. Unless there is some concrete break through in negotiation, what will happen then? A resumption of the War that nobody wants to take place.
Why would the people want to go to war? Many are taking sides, with both sides laying claims to many things, and both sides have many to tell. At the end, who is right and who is wrong? What about taking another sidethat totally abhor wars and killings, a side that wants this to stop immediately.
Does this matter afterall, if every party wants peace and the every people affected here are the ones that should decide. Not all others who are just bystanders who are mere instigators who have all the ulterior motives that one can question. Where is the transparency in this? Has United Nations gone so weak as to be unable to do anything as this drags on further? Why can't they settle amicably?
To the young, they must be wandering why are there still wars at this age. And worst still, such hatreds are being ingrained into the minds of so many youngsters. Just hardly a short distance away, people can live in peace and in harmony. Why can't they enjoy the peacefuleness as in toher. The world has failed these people.
Concurrent with this event, we just saw United States Barack Obama inauguration as the 44th President of the world biggest power. Let's hope that there will be changes that will see an end to war in the Middle East, replaced with improved and better Middle-East relations as many have harbour high hopes and expectation of Obama.
Let us pray and hope for a speedy end to this senseless war and killings especially when there are so many innocents caught in it.
Posted by
Ivan
Why He Disappeared ?
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Friday, December 19, 2008
President George Bush - Ducking from Shoes Attack
Just recently, during a News Conference in Iraq, a correspondent by the name of Al-Zaidi from a TV station, created a shocking scene when he hurled 2 shoes at US President George Bush who was speaking at the podium.
It was a very near miss, and watching the video, I must say that the President reaction was very fast and nimble. Twice the shoes were going in the same direction at him, and it was a near miss twice, when he ducked. President Bush remained composed to continue but instead talk about the shoe incident.
In President Bush words, such act is to draw attention and he likened it to people back home showing displeasure as in any political rally.
View Video Clip on President Bush ducking in slow motion
How would one describe the incident? A near violent form of displaying unhappiness, anger, frustration. I do not know of what happened to the journalist, and will he still be a correspondent after the incident.
The Middle East Region has been embroiled in controversies and wars for many years and one cannot help but sympathise with the people who live there, must be very frustrated.
Looking at the frequent suicidal killings going on every now and then, one must be wondering how much of hatred and anger has been sown in the minds of the people. I am not sure whether much can be done to the adults and this generation to make much difference for peace in the region, but I do hope and pray that more can be done at the children and educational level to foster goodwill, love and compassions, so that the future generations will be able to lead a more peaceful and happier lives than is now.
But wherever we are right now, let us not underestimate the power of one, and let us begin with ourself, and work for peace within our own home, and from this hopefully, peace will manifest itself into our environment, our society, country and eventually the world at large.
Posted by
Ivan
It was a very near miss, and watching the video, I must say that the President reaction was very fast and nimble. Twice the shoes were going in the same direction at him, and it was a near miss twice, when he ducked. President Bush remained composed to continue but instead talk about the shoe incident.
In President Bush words, such act is to draw attention and he likened it to people back home showing displeasure as in any political rally.
View Video Clip on President Bush ducking in slow motion
How would one describe the incident? A near violent form of displaying unhappiness, anger, frustration. I do not know of what happened to the journalist, and will he still be a correspondent after the incident.
The Middle East Region has been embroiled in controversies and wars for many years and one cannot help but sympathise with the people who live there, must be very frustrated.
Looking at the frequent suicidal killings going on every now and then, one must be wondering how much of hatred and anger has been sown in the minds of the people. I am not sure whether much can be done to the adults and this generation to make much difference for peace in the region, but I do hope and pray that more can be done at the children and educational level to foster goodwill, love and compassions, so that the future generations will be able to lead a more peaceful and happier lives than is now.
But wherever we are right now, let us not underestimate the power of one, and let us begin with ourself, and work for peace within our own home, and from this hopefully, peace will manifest itself into our environment, our society, country and eventually the world at large.
Posted by
Ivan
Monday, December 8, 2008
World Wide Weakening Economy causes diminshing wealth of everyone
The world's economy is now taking center stage in every government's agenda, and top on most people in managing the economy of their respective countries. The future looks bleak while everyone is praying for a quick recovery if at all they cannot be cushioned.
Over the last few months, I am sure we find the wealth that we have worked so hard over the last 20 - 30 years being eroded. At times of unstable environment, whatever instruments and hedging mechanism available out there is not helping either. In my case, I have learned that when the environment is unstable, the hedging mechanism may not work in favor. Take the case of exchange rate hedging, while we can buy and hedge the currency that we need for future, it can work the reverse when you are overbook into the position. In my case, I had bought into the Sterling Pound at the rate around MYR 6.49 to 1.0 Sterling Pound and looking back, now that the sterling pound has weaken to around MYR 5.50 to 1 Sterling Pound, it had actually resulted in me losing out about MYR 50,000 to hedge the initial fund required for my son's education in London.
Likewise, the Australian dollars has also weaken from about MYR 3.1 to 1.0 AUD to now about MYR2.3 to 1.0 AUD, it has also caused me to lose about MYR10,000.00 While frustrated on one hand, yet I find it hard to complain for over the longer term, it would be better for the MYR to strengthen as this will be beneficial for future exchanges. This of course is true only if the existing rate can sustain for some time.
While recession appears imminent all round, yet the cost of living has gone up. When the oil price was about USD 150 per barrel, it created chaos wordwide, with many suppliers raising prices of essential goods that drives up cost of living. Now that oil prices has dropped to around USD50 per barrel, and hardly 4 months ago only, no one would have imagined this to happen. Now that oil prices have gone by more than 50%, yet the suppliers are taking their time, if at all willing to reduce the prices. While suppliers are quick to raise prices, but they are very slow to react when it worked against them.
And what are the Authority and Government doing about this. Let's hope the people of authority are doing enough to bring about some action to address such injustice and restore equity to the people on the ground.
And let us all pray that the world economy will recover quick enough to bring relief to all the countries on this globe and that world economy stability returns.
Posted by
Ivan
Over the last few months, I am sure we find the wealth that we have worked so hard over the last 20 - 30 years being eroded. At times of unstable environment, whatever instruments and hedging mechanism available out there is not helping either. In my case, I have learned that when the environment is unstable, the hedging mechanism may not work in favor. Take the case of exchange rate hedging, while we can buy and hedge the currency that we need for future, it can work the reverse when you are overbook into the position. In my case, I had bought into the Sterling Pound at the rate around MYR 6.49 to 1.0 Sterling Pound and looking back, now that the sterling pound has weaken to around MYR 5.50 to 1 Sterling Pound, it had actually resulted in me losing out about MYR 50,000 to hedge the initial fund required for my son's education in London.
Likewise, the Australian dollars has also weaken from about MYR 3.1 to 1.0 AUD to now about MYR2.3 to 1.0 AUD, it has also caused me to lose about MYR10,000.00 While frustrated on one hand, yet I find it hard to complain for over the longer term, it would be better for the MYR to strengthen as this will be beneficial for future exchanges. This of course is true only if the existing rate can sustain for some time.
While recession appears imminent all round, yet the cost of living has gone up. When the oil price was about USD 150 per barrel, it created chaos wordwide, with many suppliers raising prices of essential goods that drives up cost of living. Now that oil prices has dropped to around USD50 per barrel, and hardly 4 months ago only, no one would have imagined this to happen. Now that oil prices have gone by more than 50%, yet the suppliers are taking their time, if at all willing to reduce the prices. While suppliers are quick to raise prices, but they are very slow to react when it worked against them.
And what are the Authority and Government doing about this. Let's hope the people of authority are doing enough to bring about some action to address such injustice and restore equity to the people on the ground.
And let us all pray that the world economy will recover quick enough to bring relief to all the countries on this globe and that world economy stability returns.
Posted by
Ivan
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Moving into New House – All the frustrations of renovation
Getting a new house and getting it ready so that you can move in to stay, is something that everybody looks forward to. I have bought this house delivered almost 2 years ago. It was under renovation for the last 4 months as I intend to move into this new Semi-Detached unit after selling my present 2-storey linked house which I owned and stayed in the last 21 years. That’s a long time.
I had originally envisaged the renovation work to take about 2 months, for the small extension for the kitchen, new patio area with minor renovations. Renovating the house is time-consuming not to mention that a lot of money has to be thrown in and now 2 months delay. Since my last shift, it have never occur to me to bear with so many frustrations in renovating the house;
- Firstly, the quotation comparison and negotiation to finalize the award. At the end, you will still find misunderstanding, and at worst is that the contractor admitted that it is a mistake and omission. What can you do then, except to fork out the additional
- I can now safely say that the original budget that you plan for renovation work will never be enough, so my advice is that you have to plan for additional amount as buffer for variation work. There are again things that you never thought of, may cropped that you now realize requires it
- During renovation itself, a lot of things which are in good condition will now be spoilt and require replacement and rework. For example, the walls maybe perfectly all right, but at the end, may require some patching and a full new coat of paint
- Cost may creep up depending on the market condition. For small job this is no issue, but for bigger job, substantial changes in the market will result in changes as the contractor will keep asking for more money due to substantial increase in cost of material
- Delay arising from rainy days as well as conditions laid out by the developer to limit renovation work to restricted hours and non holidays days only. In my case this has seriously affected the timing without anticipating this during the planning stage
- Looking at those workers who carried out the renovation work will add further frustration. These people are just plain dumb, and only concentrate on their portion work, without regard and consideration to the others. An example is when you ask them to install a new door, they will focus on the door, but would not pay attention to scratching the new floors that you have done, by discriminately handling of their equipments. Or when you ask the electrician to put in new wiring, indiscriminate hacking which spoil the wall and ceiling..
In my case, I had been unfortunate to be hit with 2 incidents of the water pipe to the ceiling burst over a month. The incidents resulted in water flooding the entire ceiling board of the rooms upstairs, sipping down to affect all the walls and the laminated timber stripes floor. The second incident resulted in the water wetting all the bedroom and wardrobe set and damaging some of it.. As a result, the developer has to re-patch the plaster ceiling, repaint the ceiling and wall as well as re-grind the floor and repaint it. Till to-date, I am still waiting for the developer to rectify this before I start moving in.
If you are particular with the auspicious day to shift in, the delays would have frustrated you. Luckily, I am not those who will choose an auspicious date with all the pomp, hustles and bustles to shift in. So the next time you buy an new house and plan to shift in, be prepared with all the frustrations that comes with it.
Posted by
Ivan
I had originally envisaged the renovation work to take about 2 months, for the small extension for the kitchen, new patio area with minor renovations. Renovating the house is time-consuming not to mention that a lot of money has to be thrown in and now 2 months delay. Since my last shift, it have never occur to me to bear with so many frustrations in renovating the house;
- Firstly, the quotation comparison and negotiation to finalize the award. At the end, you will still find misunderstanding, and at worst is that the contractor admitted that it is a mistake and omission. What can you do then, except to fork out the additional
- I can now safely say that the original budget that you plan for renovation work will never be enough, so my advice is that you have to plan for additional amount as buffer for variation work. There are again things that you never thought of, may cropped that you now realize requires it
- During renovation itself, a lot of things which are in good condition will now be spoilt and require replacement and rework. For example, the walls maybe perfectly all right, but at the end, may require some patching and a full new coat of paint
- Cost may creep up depending on the market condition. For small job this is no issue, but for bigger job, substantial changes in the market will result in changes as the contractor will keep asking for more money due to substantial increase in cost of material
- Delay arising from rainy days as well as conditions laid out by the developer to limit renovation work to restricted hours and non holidays days only. In my case this has seriously affected the timing without anticipating this during the planning stage
- Looking at those workers who carried out the renovation work will add further frustration. These people are just plain dumb, and only concentrate on their portion work, without regard and consideration to the others. An example is when you ask them to install a new door, they will focus on the door, but would not pay attention to scratching the new floors that you have done, by discriminately handling of their equipments. Or when you ask the electrician to put in new wiring, indiscriminate hacking which spoil the wall and ceiling..
In my case, I had been unfortunate to be hit with 2 incidents of the water pipe to the ceiling burst over a month. The incidents resulted in water flooding the entire ceiling board of the rooms upstairs, sipping down to affect all the walls and the laminated timber stripes floor. The second incident resulted in the water wetting all the bedroom and wardrobe set and damaging some of it.. As a result, the developer has to re-patch the plaster ceiling, repaint the ceiling and wall as well as re-grind the floor and repaint it. Till to-date, I am still waiting for the developer to rectify this before I start moving in.
If you are particular with the auspicious day to shift in, the delays would have frustrated you. Luckily, I am not those who will choose an auspicious date with all the pomp, hustles and bustles to shift in. So the next time you buy an new house and plan to shift in, be prepared with all the frustrations that comes with it.
Posted by
Ivan
Friday, October 17, 2008
Economic Chaos - A new World Economic Order
Posted by Ivan
The financial meltdown of 2008 is being called the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression. World economies is in a doldrums, brought on by the earlier subprime issues. Now, big and once called world class corporations, best in its own class that set the world best practices are falling apart and dragging down all others with it. We have seen the big big names - Bear Stearns Cos, Wsahington Mutual Inc, Wachovia Corp, Lehman Bros Holdings Inc, Goldman Sach Group Inc, Morgan Stanely AIG, Fannie and Freddie, and many more in Europe.
The US Government is pumping billions into the economy to boost back confident and bailout. The bailout is being felt around the world, Europe and Asia. UK and Europe Government has come out pumping billions to their banking systems. In the process, Government is now taking up stakes in financial institutions. Government in Asia have also come up to support and guarantee the banking system. What is happening here?
People all over are frustrated, in that their hard earned monies and savings have now been depleted. Stock Markets all over have also collapsed and wipe out billions. Against such backdrop, fuel prices have dropped to US72 per barrel which only recently saw it shot beyond US130 per barrel barely a month ago.
Quick and concerted action is required from all. Government in some countries have come out to guarantee the banking system and hopefully re-instill public confident that banking deposits are safe. Whatever action is required, it will be many many months before the world economy can regain its past glorious days.
I have just received this internet jokes that perhaps illustrate how greed can create chaos. I think the story has some resemblance to what the world is facing now. The story goes like this as follows;
If you have difficulty understanding the current world financial problem, the following should help;
Once upon a time in a village in India , a man announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10.
The villagers seeing there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10, but, as the supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their efforts. The man further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to $25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now act as buyer, on his behalf.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when he returns from the city, you can sell them back to him for $50.'
The villagers squeezed together their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man or his assistant again, only monkeys
I hope this helps to illustrate the present situation well.
Yours truly,
Ivan
Feel free to provide your feedback by clicking the Comment below.
The financial meltdown of 2008 is being called the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression. World economies is in a doldrums, brought on by the earlier subprime issues. Now, big and once called world class corporations, best in its own class that set the world best practices are falling apart and dragging down all others with it. We have seen the big big names - Bear Stearns Cos, Wsahington Mutual Inc, Wachovia Corp, Lehman Bros Holdings Inc, Goldman Sach Group Inc, Morgan Stanely AIG, Fannie and Freddie, and many more in Europe.
The US Government is pumping billions into the economy to boost back confident and bailout. The bailout is being felt around the world, Europe and Asia. UK and Europe Government has come out pumping billions to their banking systems. In the process, Government is now taking up stakes in financial institutions. Government in Asia have also come up to support and guarantee the banking system. What is happening here?
People all over are frustrated, in that their hard earned monies and savings have now been depleted. Stock Markets all over have also collapsed and wipe out billions. Against such backdrop, fuel prices have dropped to US72 per barrel which only recently saw it shot beyond US130 per barrel barely a month ago.
Quick and concerted action is required from all. Government in some countries have come out to guarantee the banking system and hopefully re-instill public confident that banking deposits are safe. Whatever action is required, it will be many many months before the world economy can regain its past glorious days.
I have just received this internet jokes that perhaps illustrate how greed can create chaos. I think the story has some resemblance to what the world is facing now. The story goes like this as follows;
If you have difficulty understanding the current world financial problem, the following should help;
Once upon a time in a village in India , a man announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10.
The villagers seeing there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10, but, as the supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their efforts. The man further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to $25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now act as buyer, on his behalf.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when he returns from the city, you can sell them back to him for $50.'
The villagers squeezed together their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man or his assistant again, only monkeys
I hope this helps to illustrate the present situation well.
Yours truly,
Ivan
Feel free to provide your feedback by clicking the Comment below.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Frustration with your partner - Secret to a happy marriage
Posted by Ivan
What makes a Happy Marriage? Occasionally, we can be asking ourselves, are we happy with our marriage? Not sure what the answer is with most, but I think the answer we get will probably be related more of whether we view a marriage as problematic. If we find less problem, we then say it is a happy marriage. If not, then perhaps, we think the marriage is unhappy. I have heard and come across married couples who have gone through lengthy years of marriage, seemingly happy, with no apparent discord, but eventually hit the rock at the later years. This normally happened when either party feels that there is no longer need to be dependent and tied to each other, arising from something external to them. In such situations, marriages are held on by some external factor, such as worrying for young children, financial dependent, parental objection etc. When such dependencies no longer holds true, such as when the children have all grown up, or the parents are no longer around, so is this tiny thread that binds the marriage together all these years.
So it is common for the individual to be frustrated with his partners at one time or another. What do we do then? And different people react and respond differently, depending on the value system in the society he is in, the culture, the up-bringing and his environment.
Reading an article in the NST recently, there was this poll being conducted on 4,000 married couples to find the secrets to a happy marriage. Or so it says, the secrets are;
- spending at least 22 periods of "quality time" together a month with at least seven cosy nights in and two proper dinner dates. The key seems to be spending a lot of quality time together cited by those who rated their marriage very happy
- Cuddle, it seems at least 4 times a day, holds the key
- Romantic gesture such as back massage every 10 days is necessary
The Survey also revealed that
- average happy couple enjoy two romantic walks every month
- one visit to the pub every month
- one trip to the cinema every month
- spend few romantic evenings in - eating dinner by candlelight 3 times a month
- Engaging in a proper conversation 6 times a month
- Curling up in front of the TV together 7 times a month
- Twice a month, shower each other with surprise gifts - such as flowers and chocolates, a soppy poem or a favorite piece of music
- A good marriage would also allow each partner to enjoy a night away from home without the other, in the compnay of their own friends
- Simple act such as cleaning the house without being asked or making breakfast show respect for the other spouse
- Go on two or more holidays every year
I do not know how one would be able to do those secrets revealed above. Or perhaps, these will add on more frustration to an already frustrated party. I wonder how one would be able to sustain all these. I have been married for 25 over years, and I can put my marriage on the happier side, although I would not venture to say a very happy one, at times perhaps. My personal view is that while one needs to work on the marriage, it must not sound like a chore, for when it requires such effort, it already defeats the very purpose of the union. The few things that I have learned through my years of marriage has helped to tide the rough ride that at times surfaced. And I would say that with each hump that I crossed, it had made the marriage more solid than before. So here lies my key;
- Taking the ups and downs of the marriage - one cannot view the marriage as something smooth sailing without the downs and problems. The important thing is what one can and should do quickly to overcome it. For without the rough ride, what then is a happy one and how then does the couple share and feel the need for a solid marriage.
- Communicate and sharing - there must be communication, as in personal matters that relate to both parties. I know of a case where both the party does not even talk, sharing the same bed. In no time, the couple separated. At times, one may have to be frank to the other, rather than harbouring uneasy thoughts and suspicions.
- Have physical contact - I believe that physical contact is very important for the marriage to last. I do not think the need to say how frequent, except that there must be periodical contact, be it simple gesture of holding hands, or rubbing the shoulders to rekindle the feeling and bond.
- Give and Take attitude - I have often heard about the share of responsibility and equality. This happen more so when the baby takes center stage of the family. My take on this relationship is that there is no such thing as equal share of work or responsibility, but there must be an exercise of care and responsibility to the utmost of both. After all, people are known for what he can sacrifice for love, so there should not be any bound on this. Remember reading somewhere that aptly puts it that the women is the sunshine for the family, and the man is the pillar.
- Have some time reserved for the family - finding time to do what I have mentioned above is important. So much was said about quality of time, and I think this means different thing to different people. Just cuddling up with the partner in front of the TV set may appeal and sound so good to many, while to some other, may require costly outing to a posh restaurant
For what one does, we are talking about human. And human being is an extremely complex creature that the more research is done on him, the more we find unknown. We can only try our best, and in so trying, pray and hope for the best.
Yours truly,
Ivan
Feel free to share your feedback on this topic by clicking the Comment below
What makes a Happy Marriage? Occasionally, we can be asking ourselves, are we happy with our marriage? Not sure what the answer is with most, but I think the answer we get will probably be related more of whether we view a marriage as problematic. If we find less problem, we then say it is a happy marriage. If not, then perhaps, we think the marriage is unhappy. I have heard and come across married couples who have gone through lengthy years of marriage, seemingly happy, with no apparent discord, but eventually hit the rock at the later years. This normally happened when either party feels that there is no longer need to be dependent and tied to each other, arising from something external to them. In such situations, marriages are held on by some external factor, such as worrying for young children, financial dependent, parental objection etc. When such dependencies no longer holds true, such as when the children have all grown up, or the parents are no longer around, so is this tiny thread that binds the marriage together all these years.
So it is common for the individual to be frustrated with his partners at one time or another. What do we do then? And different people react and respond differently, depending on the value system in the society he is in, the culture, the up-bringing and his environment.
Reading an article in the NST recently, there was this poll being conducted on 4,000 married couples to find the secrets to a happy marriage. Or so it says, the secrets are;
- spending at least 22 periods of "quality time" together a month with at least seven cosy nights in and two proper dinner dates. The key seems to be spending a lot of quality time together cited by those who rated their marriage very happy
- Cuddle, it seems at least 4 times a day, holds the key
- Romantic gesture such as back massage every 10 days is necessary
The Survey also revealed that
- average happy couple enjoy two romantic walks every month
- one visit to the pub every month
- one trip to the cinema every month
- spend few romantic evenings in - eating dinner by candlelight 3 times a month
- Engaging in a proper conversation 6 times a month
- Curling up in front of the TV together 7 times a month
- Twice a month, shower each other with surprise gifts - such as flowers and chocolates, a soppy poem or a favorite piece of music
- A good marriage would also allow each partner to enjoy a night away from home without the other, in the compnay of their own friends
- Simple act such as cleaning the house without being asked or making breakfast show respect for the other spouse
- Go on two or more holidays every year
I do not know how one would be able to do those secrets revealed above. Or perhaps, these will add on more frustration to an already frustrated party. I wonder how one would be able to sustain all these. I have been married for 25 over years, and I can put my marriage on the happier side, although I would not venture to say a very happy one, at times perhaps. My personal view is that while one needs to work on the marriage, it must not sound like a chore, for when it requires such effort, it already defeats the very purpose of the union. The few things that I have learned through my years of marriage has helped to tide the rough ride that at times surfaced. And I would say that with each hump that I crossed, it had made the marriage more solid than before. So here lies my key;
- Taking the ups and downs of the marriage - one cannot view the marriage as something smooth sailing without the downs and problems. The important thing is what one can and should do quickly to overcome it. For without the rough ride, what then is a happy one and how then does the couple share and feel the need for a solid marriage.
- Communicate and sharing - there must be communication, as in personal matters that relate to both parties. I know of a case where both the party does not even talk, sharing the same bed. In no time, the couple separated. At times, one may have to be frank to the other, rather than harbouring uneasy thoughts and suspicions.
- Have physical contact - I believe that physical contact is very important for the marriage to last. I do not think the need to say how frequent, except that there must be periodical contact, be it simple gesture of holding hands, or rubbing the shoulders to rekindle the feeling and bond.
- Give and Take attitude - I have often heard about the share of responsibility and equality. This happen more so when the baby takes center stage of the family. My take on this relationship is that there is no such thing as equal share of work or responsibility, but there must be an exercise of care and responsibility to the utmost of both. After all, people are known for what he can sacrifice for love, so there should not be any bound on this. Remember reading somewhere that aptly puts it that the women is the sunshine for the family, and the man is the pillar.
- Have some time reserved for the family - finding time to do what I have mentioned above is important. So much was said about quality of time, and I think this means different thing to different people. Just cuddling up with the partner in front of the TV set may appeal and sound so good to many, while to some other, may require costly outing to a posh restaurant
For what one does, we are talking about human. And human being is an extremely complex creature that the more research is done on him, the more we find unknown. We can only try our best, and in so trying, pray and hope for the best.
Yours truly,
Ivan
Feel free to share your feedback on this topic by clicking the Comment below
Monday, October 6, 2008
Meetings - A waste of time. Making meeting matters
Posted by Ivan
How often one condemns and make jokes about the meetings and how they are conducted. Comments such as that we always have to many meetings, nothing gets discussed and done, people always come late for meetings.. How frequent one label such meetings as unproductive, waste of time and inefficient. It is not new that meetings have been said to be so, and as leader, it is important how he conducts himself. Frequently, attendees have to sit around, doing small talk and gossiping to wait for the senior to arrive.
Common pitfalls have led to various meetings being labeled as
- unproductive, usually arising from non preparedness
- irritation from a lot of unnecessary chatter and side talk and disturbances
- inefficient and without focus
- the meeting drags on too long
- often discussions focus on irrelevant topic and at worst wonders off to chit-
chatting and gossiping
- poorly conducted without results
- inadequately represented by all stakeholders
- discussion and meeting centered on few members
Over the years of working, I have come across various bosses that exhibited different traits and habits, ranging from those that are extremely particular about punctuality to one that is totally oblivious to timing, and thinks that as the head and will always be late, leaving the entire team waiting. At one extreme, I came across an instance where there was a shouting match among the very senior management team because a couple of the members were late.
In my many years of work experience, my personal experiences (at least the ones that I am in control) are that meetings can be very effective and efficient means of communication and seeking consensus quickly to move forward. There must be clear objectives, action items at hand for decision, and most importantly , is adequate preparation if major decisions are expected. I found the following tips are useful to control and manage meetings to ensure that they are productive and useful.
TIP 1 – Set clear Term of Reference – terms and scope of the committee/workgroup must be clear
TIP 2 - Appoint a permanent respectable Chairperson – preferable a senior personnel that command respect and carry some authority
TIP 3 - Set an Agenda for every meeting and send it out before hand – a full time secretariat to administer the Discussion topics/issues
TIP 4 - Appoint a permanent member as Secretariat to take minutes of meeting – Clear and actionable minutes of meeting is essential
TIP 5 – Set aside adequate time-frame for matters to be discussed – allow everyone to have a say
TIP 6 – Start meeting on time, and not wait for late-comers – proceed with adequate quorum rather than waiting for senior to arrive
TIP 7 – Be specific on each matter discussed. Control and allow everyone to speak when meeting becomes rowdy – exercise Chairperson’s role
TIP 8 - Go round to allow every member to voice anything before close-out – allow those without opportunity to voice out
TIP 9 – Write minutes and circulate them within 1 week of meeting – for individual verification and actions while issues are still clear.
With the above, the meeting will proceed a lot more smoother and faster.
Find out More >> MISAsiaJuly2008”MakemeetingmattersbyTomKrattenaker”
Yours truly,
Ivan
Feel free to share your feedback on the topic by clicking the Comment below.
How often one condemns and make jokes about the meetings and how they are conducted. Comments such as that we always have to many meetings, nothing gets discussed and done, people always come late for meetings.. How frequent one label such meetings as unproductive, waste of time and inefficient. It is not new that meetings have been said to be so, and as leader, it is important how he conducts himself. Frequently, attendees have to sit around, doing small talk and gossiping to wait for the senior to arrive.
Common pitfalls have led to various meetings being labeled as
- unproductive, usually arising from non preparedness
- irritation from a lot of unnecessary chatter and side talk and disturbances
- inefficient and without focus
- the meeting drags on too long
- often discussions focus on irrelevant topic and at worst wonders off to chit-
chatting and gossiping
- poorly conducted without results
- inadequately represented by all stakeholders
- discussion and meeting centered on few members
Over the years of working, I have come across various bosses that exhibited different traits and habits, ranging from those that are extremely particular about punctuality to one that is totally oblivious to timing, and thinks that as the head and will always be late, leaving the entire team waiting. At one extreme, I came across an instance where there was a shouting match among the very senior management team because a couple of the members were late.
In my many years of work experience, my personal experiences (at least the ones that I am in control) are that meetings can be very effective and efficient means of communication and seeking consensus quickly to move forward. There must be clear objectives, action items at hand for decision, and most importantly , is adequate preparation if major decisions are expected. I found the following tips are useful to control and manage meetings to ensure that they are productive and useful.
TIP 1 – Set clear Term of Reference – terms and scope of the committee/workgroup must be clear
TIP 2 - Appoint a permanent respectable Chairperson – preferable a senior personnel that command respect and carry some authority
TIP 3 - Set an Agenda for every meeting and send it out before hand – a full time secretariat to administer the Discussion topics/issues
TIP 4 - Appoint a permanent member as Secretariat to take minutes of meeting – Clear and actionable minutes of meeting is essential
TIP 5 – Set aside adequate time-frame for matters to be discussed – allow everyone to have a say
TIP 6 – Start meeting on time, and not wait for late-comers – proceed with adequate quorum rather than waiting for senior to arrive
TIP 7 – Be specific on each matter discussed. Control and allow everyone to speak when meeting becomes rowdy – exercise Chairperson’s role
TIP 8 - Go round to allow every member to voice anything before close-out – allow those without opportunity to voice out
TIP 9 – Write minutes and circulate them within 1 week of meeting – for individual verification and actions while issues are still clear.
With the above, the meeting will proceed a lot more smoother and faster.
Find out More >> MISAsiaJuly2008”MakemeetingmattersbyTomKrattenaker”
Yours truly,
Ivan
Feel free to share your feedback on the topic by clicking the Comment below.
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